Accountability - A healing plan

I met my friend Pam I hadn’t seen in a month for coffee early this morning. We made our usual pleasantries then sat down on the comfy couch at the back of the coffee shop and she turned to me and asked me what diet plan I was on to lose all the weight I have so far. I said I wasn’t on a plan really. I was just not eating my feelings anymore and started walking again. She didn’t believe me. “You must be doing something, a pill? Five workouts a day?” Obviously I wasn’t going to escape her I told her line of questioning. So I simply told her my healing plan was “Accountability”. “Healing Plan?” Yep. Accountability isn’t a new concept for people who are trying to lose weight or change their lifestyle. Most of the tried and true “diet plans” use accountability and this is why they are successful. For those of us with some degree of eating disorders accountability is even more important. It isn’t just about the food we eat or our workouts, it is about how we are feeling. “Well tracking seems like a hassle” Pam said shaking her head. It isn’t for everyone but for those of us who need a little more structure to stay on track it is the way to go. With so many great Aps out there now that can scan barcodes for food items and sync with fitness trackers it’s really not that difficult to use. And I see that ten minutes of daily tracking time as me time. Plus I was the kid in school that loved getting the gold stars on that chart on the wall, this is my big girl star chart. And then I told her that yesterday was a bad day for me, not a horrible day but a rough one in some ways. It would have been so easy to us the way I felt as an excuse to eat that second chili dog and blow off my walk. Instead I tracked my dinner and I made a note of how I was feeling. As I strapped on my shoes I decided that I would do an extra mile on my walk. I turned sadness into determination instead of a pity party on the couch with a bag of chips. When I got back home I tracked my walk. I burned enough calories for that second chili dog but I didn’t eat it. Instead I thought about what had happened to make me feel the way I did that day. I made myself accountable for my feelings and what I did to deal with them. The thing about my relationship with food is, I won’t get to stop being accountable when my pants all fit again. I will have to continue my daily process far beyond that so I don’t find myself back here again. It isn’t about weight loss, it is about healing. Healing needs the same maintenance process as weight loss. We said our good byes so we both could make meetings for work. I get back to work after my meeting and found an email from her. She read my blog and said she related to more than a few things I wrote about so far. Then she loaded the same Ap I have on her phone. She said “I think I am going to try your accountability healing plan.” Journeys are always better with friends. I am truly lucky to have so much support.